Whoever runs across this post may find me really weird or a loony but it will help me to write it down, so here goes…
Have you ever seen the movie ‘Sybil’? I saw the one with Sally Field. I think most of us have different personalities that arise depending on the people we are with and the environment we are in. Not all may be as extreme as others. I’m a borderline. I split into three different ones and I’ve actually named them.
Meet Charlie – she’s childlike and maybe childish at times. She loves to have fun and finds joy in very simple, ordinary things. She has no fears, no worries, no doubts. She loves God… as a true friend and older brother. She’s not afraid to try new things and loves the outdoors and hanging out with friends. She comes out most when she’s with her nephews and nieces and when she’s at work. She would even go bungee jumping if asked.
Meet Christine – she is more conservative, timid, really shy. She is afraid to fail and therefore sometimes even afraid to try new things. She is worried about what other people think of her and she’s always trying to please everyone. She doesn’t think what she wants matter. She believes it to be being selfish to go after or to even do what makes her happy, even if it is something good for her. She is super, SUPER sensitive. She cries a lot and is always sorry for when she makes mistakes. She fears God in a sense that she is even afraid to be close to Him… afraid that He would reject her, or that He has already rejected her because of her imperfections.
Meet Celine – She is the angry one. She has fears too but she fights it with hate and self-destruction. She is envious when others succeed and jealous when other people become close. She is manipulative, proud, and a loner. She has a difficult time enjoying family and friends, being grateful for all God has blessed her, growing up.
I am torn between all these three. Christine is the dominant one. I’ve somehow lost Charlie. Celine creeps in constantly and has actually been the influence in me for a long time now, and that is not at all pleasant. I’m working on getting Charlie back and have her bring out the joy and child in me again.
